Have you ever met people so negative that they drain you & leave you feeling exhausted & frustrated? You feel anxious every time you see them & having conversation with them leaves you dry & dull. Spending few minutes with them literally ruins your day. And the things they say keep you up at night & sting you like bee. These are the people who we call Toxic. With every year passing I see that the most important thing in life is your inner peace. Because without it you can’t be happy no matter what you have in life. This inner peace is affected by surrounding of a person, mainly by the individuals that we interact with. Toxic people can not only steal that inner peace but also destroy your life.
These people live in their own self-created drama, prone to rages, complaints, and self-pity. They exhaust the people around them and play games of control, superiority, and victim hood. The intensity of toxicity varies some people are mildly toxic but when the concentration is high a person can be abusive. You need to identify them, they can be literally anywhere. Some signs that have been red flags for me are down below.
Toxic people are self centered, it is always about them. To get what they want they would tell lies, play games, cheat, cause a shit ton of drama. They whisper things that trigger people to get what they want. And twist facts to make them look like a victim to get attention & sympathy. If you meet someone who has always been the victim in every situation they encountered & were always the one who were wronged by others. That may be a strong indicator of toxic person. They will never accept their own mistakes. Their friends left them, every partner cheated on them or ditched them, and it was their parents or friend’s fault. They did absolutely nothing wrong.
Most of the toxic people you meet will be critics. They will not support you; they will find faults in everything you do. They will try to talk you out of things that make you happy. They are often going to be very competitive to an unhealthy extend. They attack you verbally & try to turn you down. If you are a person who wants to do something new they will go like “it’s not possible for you”, “you are not smart enough” “he/she is way out of your league stop day dreaming”. They try to belittle you & tell you that you cannot achieve a certain goal by either reminding you of an old failure or making a joke about your weakness or flaw. A person should know how to tell if someone is a friend who is joking or a snake who says hurtful things to demoralize you.
They never ever take the responsibility for their actions; never admit that they have done something wrong. They never say sorry to others even when they know they have hurt people. They have a lot of broken friendships & relationships. And in every story the world was just against them they will even start thinking that you are against them. If they come off as some saint who never hurt anyone but came across the worst people in life, it is a sign because the genuine people do not throw dirt on others. They will make you feel guilty about everything. They will at times blame you for the things going wrong, everything will be your fault and you will be constantly apologizing. They will make you feel like you are a bad person by acting like you hurt them. Watch out for crocodile tears especially when dealing with a female.
They are often very insecure, and in that insecurity they would go around spreading rumors about you. They may be nice to you in person but when they are not with you. They call you names; try to distort your image in front of others by throwing shade because they cannot stand you having validation, importance & love. They can never keep secret & they bitch about anyone & everyone. Toxic people are not supportive as friends. As partners they will never be happy with your wins or see it as their own. They criticize you because they do not care about your feelings they just want you to suffer because internally they are not happy.
They are cruel they say things that they know are hurting your feelings, they do this purposely. Remind you of a past traumatic event, your failures, or painful experiences. They would focus on how bad you are as person & how you do not deserve what you have. They do not have empathy & compassion. They are not just mean but soul sucking pain causing mean. They will try to sabotage the things that mean something to you. They will not hesitate in breaking your bonds with people you love.
They give sudden outbursts of aggression. They do not respect you; they may even yell at you curse you in public to humiliate you; they make you feel like shit, they will not support you. At worst a toxic person can become abusive both verbally & physically. They become controlling and may try to isolate you from your friends, family & everyone. So that they can be your first priority but you will not be theirs. They would be offended if you do not do what they say and they will behave badly.
Remember they can be anywhere they may even be the people who you have known for years. Life is too short to deal with people who do more harm than good, stunt your growth, leave you wounded, betrayed, beaten, torn apart & take away the chance of you having a prosperous & fulfilling life. The best thing to do is to cut them off. No matter how hard you try you cannot change them they would remain same pricks. You need to distance yourself if you want a stress & drama free life. People in life should be a source of reducing your stress not causing more of it.
Stop making excuses for their abusive nature; if they keep repeating, it isn’t a mistake but a behavior. It took me a very long time to understand that I needed to cut them off of life. It is easy to do when the person is someone you just met. But hard when it is someone you actually care about & have known for years. Remember self respect is very important, anyone who does not respect your boundaries or tries to walk all over you should not be accepted. People treat you the way you let them treat you. With life’s highs and lows you need people who actually care about you not venomous snakes.
“The only way to win with a toxic person is not to play”